Find Your Fire – Discovering Your Passion & Living with Purpose

“Everything, absolutely everything…got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.”  Colossians 1:16 MSG

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This post is a series of snapshots in time, from college to the present, that led me to find my purpose in Him.

1999

I make my way across the campus mall, hustling to get to my next class.  Beams of sunlight bounce off reflecting pools, blinding the path in front of me.  A recognizable ring prompts me to reach into my backpack and pull out my new Nokia phone.

“No, Dad, I haven’t chosen a major yet.”

“Soon, I promise.”

I consider my options.  Pre-med?  Physical therapy?  I select Education.  I love children and long to make a lasting impact.  Yes, teaching sounds like a good fit.  What do you think, mom?  Best friend?  Boyfriend?

I seek everyone else’s opinion.  Everyone except the One who created me.

I don’t believe there is a scripted prayer for that.

2007

Enmeshed in my career field, I fall prey to the lie that my work determines my worth.  I fill every available moment with lesson planning, grading, National Board Certification, and finishing my Masters Program.  

I feel alive in front of a classroom, fulfilled by helping children grow and learn, but while my students are thriving, my marriage is suffocating.  I’m so focused on making an impact that I miss God’s greater purpose for my life.

Spring 2010

The leadership position I’ve worked so hard for opens up and they offer it to me.  I’m faced with the decision of whether to devote more time to my profession or prioritize my family.  I decline the position to stay home and raise my daughter.

Fall 2010

I stare blankly at the MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) questionnaire in front of me.  It reads, What’s your favorite book (other than the Bible)?  

I can’t remember the last time I read for pleasure and I’ve never read the Bible, at least not from cover to cover.  Can I skip this question, please? 

But the other questions are more of the same; I have no response.  In leaving my career, I seem to have lost my identity.  I turn my form in to the mom’s group coordinator incomplete, a representation of the status of my soul. 

Who am I?  What is my purpose?  Is breastfeeding and diaper changing all I was created for?

2015

My marriage is hanging on by a thread and nothing I can do is enough to save it.  I struggle with loneliness, bitterness, and letting go of control.  Having exhausted all other options, I turn to Jesus.

I start walking with God and spending time in His Word, setting aside scripted prayers for heartfelt conversation, attending a new church, and pulling weeds of doubt and insecurity so I can anchor my identity in His truth.

I start creating space to hear His voice and learning how to be still.  When I quiet the noise, I become aware of God speaking to me.  In praying for guidance and direction, God calls me to include Him in my health and fitness coaching.

But how, God?

Just start writing.  Share your story.

Without knowing for whom or what purpose, I type up my testimony.  Six months later, I receive an unexpected phone call.  The woman scheduled to share her story at church is sick and they ask if I can throw something together for the next day.  I don’t have to, because it is already written.

I consider this a confirmation and continue to write, encouraging others to seek God and adopt a renewed perspective on their health.  I help them build positive habits for their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being with their faith as the foundation for sustainable change.

Spring & Summer 2017

My blog holds steady at twenty-five subscribers and I begin to wonder if my words matter.

God, have I heard You wrong?  Are You sure this is what You want me to do?  I’m not sure I’m cut out for this.

God shows me that I’m focused on the wrong thing.  It’s not about what I can do, but what He can do through me.

When I start to question, God sends confirmation.  A woman approaches me at a conference to say God laid the words, “aspiring author,” on her heart to share with me.  A former coworker comments on my blog, “This is your gift and so clearly your calling. Keep going and keep pointing all who read your words to Jesus.”  Friends come alongside me and encourage me on my journey.  “God is doing something great in you, Jen.  Keep writing.”

God speaks to me in my language – through my relationships with other people, a community of believers committed to supporting one another as we strive to fulfill God’s calling on our lives.

Like trails of manna leading to the Promised Land, God gives me just enough to sustain me, but not so much that I don’t need to keep coming to Him.  He continues to answer my prayers for Godly mentors and ministry opportunities while teaching me to trust in His timing and focus on my family as my primary mission field. 

That summer, I am baptized for the second time in my life.  This time, it’s not simply because I was born into this world, but because I want to profess with my mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord (Romans 10:9).  I publicly declare my faith and commit to following Him. 

Fall 2017

Doubt resurfaces.  A divine appointment in a coffee shop leads me to this paragraph, taken directly from a book titled, Find Your Calling.¹

“I have a friend named Jen who worked in a preschool for years.  She loved it and assumed she’d be in the education system for the rest of her life…Her marriage had a pretty rocky season, and she wanted to use her story to help others…Unlike others I’ve heard who talked about writing a book or starting a blog, Jen actually did it…If Jen had continued as a preschool teacher, she might have had a satisfying career.  But she would have missed out on the calling that only she could fulfill.  And millions of women would have missed out on the hope and healing they’ve received because Jen was willing to discern and pursue her calling.” ¹

Replace “preschool” with “public school,” and there you have it – that is my story.  

These anecdotes are more than coincidences; they’re a product of continually seeking God, developing an awareness of His presence, and living life on purpose for a purpose greater than ourselves.  

Spring 2018

Hunched over my keyboard and struggling to find the words, God reminds me He values my obedience more than my eloquence. 

A recovering perfectionist, I shy away from hitting “publish.”  God reminds me that it is not through my words, but His power, that lives will be changed (1 Corinthians 2:4-5).  Knowing my purpose is just to point them to Jesus takes the pressure off.

A people-pleaser by nature, I feel validated by the affirmations of others.  God encourages me to set aside my desire for accolades and trust the outcome of my words to Him.  When I write out of obedience, my efforts are never wasted.  He reminds me that the goal is not to build an audience, but to build up His Kingdom.  

Summer 2018

Thirty pairs of eyes smile at me as I start the lesson.  I feel alive in front of the classroom, fulfilled by helping children grow and learn. 

One of the Vacation Bible School crew guides comes up to me afterwards.  “You’re a teacher, aren’t you?”

“I used to be.”

But God says, “You still are.  In sharing My wisdom, whether here in church, at home with your kids, or through writing and coaching, you are making an eternal impact.”

I return home and reach deep into the abyss of credit card bills, solicitations, and store coupons to rescue a crumpled white envelope.  FIND YOUR FIRE is written in big brown letters.

My anxious fingers find a tattered edge and tear it open, retrieving a necklace engraved with the word FIRE.  I hang it around my neck, a reminder to never let the fire in my heart go out and shine as an ember of His hope.  Inside, I find a print with the MOPS 2018-19 rallying cry: LIGHT UP THE WORLD. 

But how, God? 

Child, have you forgotten the spiritual gifts and talents I have given you?  The pain of your past that brought you into a closer relationship with Me?  The process of uprooting false beliefs so My truth could set you free? 

Have you forgotten the invitations, confirmations, and words of affirmation?  Your burning desire to help others and your insatiable hunger for spiritual things?  All of those things are no more of an accident than the passion for teaching that I planted deep within you, ingrained in your DNA. 

You need not grasp outside of yourself to find your purpose, but look within.  Buried beneath who society says you should be, you’ll discover the woman I created you to become.  Unlayer the things that hold you back, fully embrace the talents and experiences that make you unique, and come to Me for guidance for how to use your gifts for My glory.  The journey will be arduous at times, but all I ask is that you take the next step and follow the path I have chosen for you.

The Present

God shows me that I am no different than the Israelites who forgot the God who saved them and led them out of slavery (Psalm 106:21).  Immediately after the Red Sea miracle, they lost hope when there was no water source.  They got tired of waiting and tried to take matters into their own hands.  And here I am, losing hope when I don’t have a steady flow of subscribers, trying to speed up God’s timing as if I know better than He what is best for me. 

God reveals that sharing my story wasn’t just a prerequisite for proving myself worthy.  Stewarding my story is part of my purpose, and it’s part of yours too.  Don’t deny God the glory and others of the opportunity to see how He is actively working in our lives. 

If you have a family, remember that they are our first ministry.  Children are God’s gift, so pour into them and your spouse while seeking a personal relationship with Jesus.  In Him, we find our purpose.

“Everything, absolutely everything…got started in Him and finds its purpose in Him.”  Colossians 1:16 MSG

Today, writing is a way to build relationships with others and journal my journey with God.  It is an opportunity to reflect on answered prayers and keep a diary of what God is doing in me, my marriage, and my family.  Because I will forget.  I will doubt.  I will struggle to let go of control.  But, when I do, I have a record of how God has come through and I can trust that He will guide me through what’s to come.

My path is no clearer today than it was twenty years ago as I hustled across campus, but the difference is that, this time, I’m holding tightly to God’s hand.  There is no longer fear in uncertainty because I have faith that He will lead the way.  Fueled by passion, stepping forward with purpose, I’ve found my fire. 

Have you found yours?  What does the next step look like for you?

Call to Action:  If you’re not already subscribed, click here to join me for the second half of my Simplify series.  You’ll receive a new post each Friday where I’ll share what God is teaching me, along with practical strategies to declutter your calendar, clear the mental clutter, cleanse your soul, and focus on what matters most.  It is my hope that these insights and resources will help you tap into the abundant life God created you to live – one characterized by love, peace, and a clearer sense of purpose.

References:

Partridge, Veronica & Dale.  (2016)  Find Your Calling: Discovering What You’re Meant to Do.  Bend, OR: Dale Partridge, Inc.