A few weeks ago, I started a new blog series on trauma, how it affects the body, and steps you can take to heal. In my first post, we learned that trauma occurs when an event exceeds your nervous system’s capacity to cope with it. Trauma is not limited to life-threatening events—it encompasses anything where your basic needs for love, safety, or belonging were not met and which was too much to process at the time. In my second post, we explored how God strengthens us through difficult times, the symptoms of unresolved trauma, and common signs of PTSD. I also shared a free workbook to manage triggers and implement powerful practices to improve your overall well-being. (You can download that workbook, the Managing Your Triggers Toolkit, here.)
Today, I’m addressing the final four statements about trauma. Can you identify whether each is true or false?
- The best way to support someone who has experienced trauma is to listen.
- We can heal completely from trauma.
- A key component in healing from trauma is safety.
- Trauma survivors have a special calling to offer hope, help, and healing to those who are suffering.
The best way to support someone who has experienced trauma is to listen. (TRUE)
More than anything, someone who has been through trauma needs a loving and compassionate witness–someone who can sit with them in their pain and listen, not try to fix it. The goal is to provide a safe, caring environment where the person feels comfortable to talk; help them put language to what they’ve experienced; and not shy away from discomfort. We must refrain from showering them with Christian clichés or over-spiritualizing their experience with statements like, “It must be God’s will,” or “He will work it for good.” Instead, we can mirror back what we heard so they know we are listening (or say nothing). This encourages them to open up and share, which is needed to heal.
The SAFER model of coming alongside someone who has experienced trauma has 5 components:
- Stabilize the situation (introduce yourself and let them know you’re there to simply BE with them in their pain)
- Acknowledge the crisis (don’t avoid or sugar coat it)
- Facilitate the understanding that they’re having a NORMAL reaction to an abnormal event
- Encourage effective coping mechanisms (e.g. managing stress, not making life-altering decisions)
- Recovery and Referral (refer to a licensed professional when needed)
Coming alongside victims of trauma is less about doing and more about being. We are called to support them through the ministry of presence (ideally within the first 24-72 hours to mitigate the impact of stress and prevent the onset of PTSD). As ambassadors for Christ, we also bring God’s presence into the lives of those who are suffering, offering hope that the secular world cannot—Christ Himself—as well as an eternity where we’ll be reunited with loved ones and where there will be no more death, mourning, crying, or pain (2 Corinthians 5:20, Revelation 21:4).
As believers, we all have a special calling to show the love of God, hope of God, and transforming power of His Spirit in our lives to others, reminding them that He is a God who can be trusted—even in our darkest valleys—and who promises to redeem our pain in His perfect timing.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.” Psalm 40:1-3
We can heal completely from trauma. (TRUE)
This statement is true, depending on how you define healing. You may not ever feel anxious again, but you will sense God’s presence and peace. You may still be reminded of past trauma, but you can reach a point where it no longer has a hold on you.
Healing from trauma is about learning what to do with what you remember in a way where you’re no longer overcome with negative emotion when you think about it. It becomes something that happened, but it’s over. There is a pivotal moment in the life of a trauma survivor where they come to understand that life isn’t happening to them, but for them. God uses our most painful seasons to grow and shape us into who we were meant to be, and to equip us for ministry. This shift in perspective strips off the victim mentality as we realize we are children of a sovereign God who loves us, has plans to prosper and not harm us, and plans to give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
We can’t change our past or the tragic things that happened, but we can choose to let them grow us into individuals who are more resilient, empathetic, compassionate, understanding, and dependent on the Lord.
Hope and healing are available to those willing to:
- Face what they most fear (healing occurs when trauma is sufficiently remembered—in a safe, supportive environment and in circumstances when the individual is not triggered, allowing their response to what happened to diminish over time)
- Address their symptoms (e.g. emotional regulation, stress management, present-moment awareness)
- Learn new ways of living and experiencing the love and healing power of God.
As we invite Jesus into our suffering, we will find that He fills in what other people did not provide—a sense of safety, love, and belonging. He is our Comforter, our Healer, and our ever-present help in times of trouble. When we look for Him in the darkness, we will find He was there all along. He never left or forsook us.
The Lord Himself is the greatest “treasure in the darkness” and we can find our way out with Him, into the Light—into positive change characterized by a greater appreciation for life, improved strength, a deeper reliance on God, and new possibilities.
“I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.” Isaiah 45:3 NLT
As we begin to see God’s Hand in our hard stories, we learn to integrate traumatic memories. Integrating trauma helps keep it from being intrusive as the memories transition into narrative that is no longer overwhelming. It is now part of a larger story that holds purpose and meaning. Nothing was wasted.
Trauma can leave lasting physical and psychological scars, but the wounds will stop bleeding. This is healing. At some point, the powerful revelation will come that it is by way of our scars that we experience Christ. In the words of trauma expert and clinical psychologist, Diane Langberg Ph.D, “Apart from the power of the resurrection, entering into brokenness and suffering will break you, harden you, and possibly even destroy your faith. But with His power we are strengthened to face weakness and suffering–to put our hands into the wounds and know that victory comes not in spite of but by way of the scars.” The message of the scars and the Resurrected Christ is not that He takes our suffering away, but rather that He works it all for our good and His glory.
A key component in healing from trauma is safety. (TRUE)
Safety is a key component in understanding and recovering from trauma because, in most traumatic experiences, our basic need for physical and/or emotional safety were not met. Emotional safety occurs when the listener is nonjudgmental and does not minimize or ignore your feelings, but rather offers empathy and compassion, affirms you, and validates what you’re experiencing.
Treating trauma is about learning to live in a body and an environment that feels safe. It’s about recognizing it’s not happening right now (or, if it is, removing yourself from that situation so healing can happen). This can be achieved through grounding exercises, guided meditations, somatic tracking, and other strategies that we will discuss later in this series.
It’s incredibly hard to heal when we feel physically or emotionally unsafe. Having space and support to grieve and process what you’ve been through can be tremendously helpful. If this is something you believe you could benefit from, I encourage you to speak to a trauma-informed coach or counselor. Click here to schedule a time to talk to me (a trauma-informed Christian mental health coach) or here to be matched with a licensed professional counselor through BetterHelp and get 2-weeks of therapy free. BetterHelp is convenient, affordable, and can provide you with tools to help you on your healing journey.
Trauma “survivors” or “warriors,” have a special calling to offer hope, help, and healing to others who are suffering. (TRUE)
Trauma will either harden a person’s heart and overwhelm them with negativity—resulting in hopelessness, despair, and self-pity—or it will drive them to God, begging for more of Him. Only through supernatural assistance from the Holy Spirit can we move forward from trauma, extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us, and integrate it into a larger story of transformation and wholeness.
As people of God, we are all called to be the rescue workers of this world—to live out the unseen in tangible ways for the world and those who suffer to see. However, those who have lived through trauma have a special calling. We have been invited into the fellowship of the sufferings of Christ not only so we can be mature and complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work (2 Timothy 3:17), but also so we can point others to the hope we have in Jesus (James 1:4, 1 Peter 3:15). The degree to which we know the Lord will determine the degree to which we will be able to work among those who mourn and minister to them in a way that resembles Him.
In order to authentically share the hope, help, comfort, and healing Christ offers to those who are suffering, we must first experience it ourselves. In our weakness, as we go through trauma, we come to know the power of the resurrection of Christ in a way that enables us to bring that power into the lives of others in pain. But, before we can do this effectively, we must allow the Spirit of God to bring that power upon the dark places within ourselves—to highlight areas for growth, sins we need to repent (e.g. excessive worry), and accept whatever healing He has to give. In the words of psychologist Diane Langberg, “It is only as we come to Jesus and learn to drink deeply that we can endure carrying Living Water to dry and weary places without becoming impaired ourselves.”
God’s Word tells us that anyone who believes in Him may come and drink, “for the scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart'” (John 7:38 NLT). Drink deeply, pour out streams of living water to others, and watch God do what He does best—change hearts, transform lives, and heal our deepest wounds.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
Call to Action: How’d you do? Did you guess that each of the statements was true? As you read, did anything resonate? If so, leave a comment below and if you’re not signed up for the rest of the series on Trauma, the Brain, and Chronic Pain click here. In future posts, we will explore the neurobiology of trauma, the antidote to trauma, how to overcome a victim mindset, and more.
