I have struggled with an unhealthy image of my own body since I was a child. I’ve tried a number of things to help me accept my body and foster a healthy relationship with my body, but only in the last few months have I made exceptional progress.
A few months ago, I had a wild experience that put me in contact with a group of amazing men and women. We were competitors on a Reality TV show. From that experience, our lives were smashed up together, and our doubts, fears, and inadequacies were drawn out. In the aftermath, I processed through what has been holding me back in business, ministry, and life. Many of the other competitors spent time in reflection and introspection as well, and we felt challenged to learn how to become comfortable being vulnerable in the middle of our online space.
One of the things that came up during our time filming and in the conversations that followed was that most of us struggle with a deep dissatisfaction with our bodies. Many from our group have spoken openly about this struggle. And, just like that, we found the first key in learning to accept our bodies – vulnerability.
The enemy wants you to be ashamed and to hide your frame in fear. He wants you to suffer in silence and not find answers to your freedom. This statement is true, whether you struggle with body image issues, an eating disorder, or were diagnosed bipolar. When you expose the lie that your body is broken, disgusting, or fat, God’s light is able to come in and heal. When you learn that friends are struggling too, it helps you to know that you are not alone. Friend, you are never alone.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV
Why do you dislike your body? What caused the dissatisfaction in the first place? I think spending some time contemplating these questions is an excellent place to start in order to find healing.
For many of us, it’s some kind of childhood trauma. And, just for reference, this doesn’t necessarily mean abuse; it could just mean that you once were made fun of in the locker room and from that moment on you began to believe your hips were too large. It could also be negative self-talk that your parents modeled. We all are subject to the media’s portrayal of the slender and tall frame. All of these things can contribute to a type of self-loathing and, at the very least, insecurities.
Whatever the reason for your body image issues, spending time in reflection will help you know where you need healing.
Before we move forward, I want to point out that I do not believe the reason you may have trouble accepting your body is your weight. If you would like to hear more about my thoughts on this, you can check out my blog for a recent post on this subject.
I have seen this in my own life and have heard it echo through the lives of others. If I do not make peace with my body at this weight, I will not be at peace when I am 30 lbs. lighter.
Now that I made the statement that I do not believe that body image issues are a weight issue, I have another question. Does accepting your body mean you can eat whatever you want and allow your health to decline? I do not think that is scriptural. I have studied the Bible quite a bit on this topic and we are guided not only to take care of our body, but the Bible outlines specific ways for how we can go about doing this.
“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT
When we take time to care for our body, give it the proper fuel it needs, and move it in helpful ways; when we also work on our mindset and lean into building a closer relationship with God, we begin to feel better about our body. We start to appreciate it as a gift from God rather than comparing it to our culture’s skewed portrayal of beauty.
We definitely need to care for ourselves, but what’s “healthy” for one person isn’t necessarily healthy for another. Skinny also doesn’t equate to healthy.
Here are 5 tips to help build a positive relationship with your body:
1. Vulnerability
Vulnerability doesn’t mean you have to share your journey publicly, but it is a good idea to find a friend or two that can relate to your struggle. Be sure to find friends that aren’t just wallowing in self-loathing, but that are also making positive movements towards having a better view of their body.
2. Focus on better health
When you take time to care for your body by eating well and getting movement into your week, you feel healthier. When you feel healthier, you appreciate your body. Your emotional health also improves when you care for yourself physically and, in this way, you will find it easier to find accepting and loving thoughts towards your body.
Accept your body, but choose to move forward towards optimal health out of love for yourself, your future, and your family. One of my morning declarations says, “I fully love and completely accept my body. I choose, out of love and care, for my future years and the health of my family and friends to keep moving forward towards optimal health.”
(As a side note, I include my friends because I am called to be a role model in this area and because I am a health lifestyle coach and encourage others to live a healthy lifestyle.)
3. Replace Negative Thoughts
Often times, when we address our thought life, we try to wrestle the negative thoughts to the ground by repeating positive thoughts over and over. This actually just causes our sub-conscious to fight harder and argue against the positive thoughts. The very first step in replacing negative thoughts is identifying the negative thought and really discovering the root of the lie. If you keep saying to yourself, “I am fat and disgusting,” when you look into the mirror, spend some time discovering what the root of this thought is. It probably is a deeper belief that you are not worthy.
Now that you have identified the lie, search out the truth. What does God think about your worthiness? What does the Bible say?
Your next step will be to allow the truth of God’s Word to settle into your heart. This can be done in a period of deep intimacy with the Holy Spirit and then re-enforced daily with positive affirmations and reviewing God’s truth. Psalm 139:14 is one of my favorite verses to meditate on:
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14 NIV
A common strategy for dealing with negative thoughts is to ignore the pain and try to tune out the negative self-talk. This will not help you in the end; it really only exacerbates insecurities and negative self-image. Rooting out the lies and replacing it with God’s truth is something I work on with my clients in my Hot, Healthy, and Happy program. There is a specific technique and process for this that is life changing.
4. Extend Grace To Others
How does extending grace towards others help you feel better about your own body? Well, often the insecurities we feel when we walk into a room come from us being concerned about how others are looking at us or judging us. The truth is that most folks are too absorbed in their own lives and thoughts to give much thought about your weight, your clothes, or what you are eating. Any judgmental thoughts you feel others are harboring are actually probably a reflection of how you feel. When you walk into a room and think loving and accepting thoughts towards others, you automatically receive loving and accepting thoughts back from them.
5. Allow the Holy Spirit to be Your Counselor
This body image issue is really on a spectrum. For some of us, we spend a lot of energy and time being concerned over our shape. Others are insecure in certain situations or when triggered by something specific, but are often confident in our body. Wherever you land on the spectrum, the only person that can guide you through the healing process is the Holy Spirit. Hopefully this post was helpful to you and a counselor can also help heal deeper wounds, but ultimately you’ll want to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit for healing of deep pain and trauma. God is a good God and He wants you to walk in healing.
“But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you.” – John 14:26 CSB
I truly hope this post has helped offer some solutions that you may not have considered before. Remember, you are not alone in this struggle! Becoming secure in your body and learning to love, accept, and properly care for your body is a process.
If you are overwhelmed and confused by the barrage of information guiding you to better health and a better weight, reach out to me for my guide for “7 lifestyle tips for a healthier inside and out.” This will vastly simplify what you need to know.
If you are frustrated by your health – physical or emotional – I believe I have a solution for you. If you feel that you lack hope for healing and do not know how to find your way out, please reach out to me. My Hot, Healthy, and Happy program is designed with you in mind. The simplest way to reach me is by sending me a private message through Instagram @stacijrivera or through a contact form on my website at www.StaciRivera.com
Dream big and be well!
-Staci
Staci Rivera is a health lifestyle coach, speaker, writer, and minister. She is passionate about encouraging others to take control of their own health so they can fulfill God’s call on their life. Staci has overcome a long list of “incurable” health problems including debilitating mental illnesses (OCD, PTSD, and Bipolar Disorder) by learning to properly care for her physical, emotional, and spiritual health. She spreads the message of hope that others can learn how to heal their emotional and physical health too. Staci also offers a transformative program for guiding you through your own journey for healing. To learn more about how you can partner with God to find your complete healing please visit her blog or follow her on Instagram @stacijrivera.
