The Gift of Growth

This is Day 2 of The Unexpected Gifts of Pain, a 5-day blog and audio series designed to help you find God’s treasures in the darkness (Isaiah 45:3). Each day we’re exploring one gift God offers in the midst of pain and hardship, along with practical strategies to reclaim peace, hope, and joy. Today, we’re unwrapping God’s Gift of Growth. Check out the post below or click play to listen in!

Last fall, my husband and I attended a For King & Country Concert with friends. Before playing the song, Burn the Ships, Luke, one of the lead singers, explained the story behind it. His wife, Courtney, was prescribed an anti-nausea medication to ease her morning sickness during pregnancy and, over time, became addicted and went through a recovery program. Luke recalls Courtney telling him she needed to flush the pills because they represented so much guilt and shame in life.

I went home that night and looked at all the pill bottles in my medicine cabinet. As pain becomes chronic, anti-anxiety drugs and anti-depressants are often prescribed because they dampen pain signals as well as serve as mood elevators. For me, they had also become a source of shame. The story at the concert surfaced misconceptions I had about taking medication, the long term side effects, and addiction. 

I had tried to quit before to no avail, but this time I was determined. I tapered my dosage, as the doctor suggested, until I was completely off the medicine. I made it seven days, and was miserable. My lower body felt like it was on fire! It took me hours to fall asleep, I woke up multiple times a night, and I was so irritable that I snapped at my kids over something incredibly small. I apologized to them, saying I wasn’t feeling well. That’s when my daughter said, “Then why don’t you just take the medicine, Mommy?”

God showed me that day that there is no shame in needing medication. Taking medication for pain or mental illness doesn’t make us any less of a Christian. If our car is broken, we don’t just pray for God to fix it—we take it to a mechanic. God gave us Jesus for hope, but He also gave us doctors and nurses, counselors and therapists, pastors and other professionals for help. When taken with caution, under the supervision of a professional, medication is not anti-biblical.

On the medication, my feet and legs still burn, but it is bearable. Being on medication has improved my quality of life such that I can sleep, engage in light physical activity, and interact socially without wondering how much longer until I can go home and lay down. For right now, the medication helps me lead a “normal” lifestyle, but taking medication does not negate the importance of prayer, eating well, exercising regularly, and resting. I still pray, if it’s God’s will, that He would heal me, but I also praise Him for the gift of modern medicine.

Rather than be a window for shame or the faulty belief that we just need to have more faith, pain can serve as a divine invitation to partner with God and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit. Paul asked God to remove the thorn in his flesh three times because he believed it interfered with his ability to fulfill his calling, but God said “no” because He knew it would cultivate a greater dependence on Him. It was through God’s strength and Paul’s sufficiency in Christ that he was able to fulfill his purpose. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God assures Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul responds, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

K.J. Ramsey, author of This Too Shall Last – Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers put it well when she wrote, “Church, if Jesus said his power is perfected in weakness, maybe we should spend less energy treating weakness as a problem to fix and more time bearing witness to it with expectation of seeing Christ.”

Suffering, when invited to draw us closer to Christ, matures our faith, refines our character, and builds mental and spiritual stamina. It has helped me uncover misconceptions (such as those about medication) and break down false idols of productivity and self-sufficiency that I was giving too much weight in my worth. As a beloved child of God, I understand that my citizenship is not in this world, but in heaven (Phil 3:20). I am a daughter of the one true King, my identity is secure in Christ and my mind is set on eternal things. 

Pain gives me an appreciation for the simple things in life and reminds me what’s most important. It has grown my capacity to love and show compassion to others who are struggling because I can empathize with them from a place of greater understanding. In periods of suffering, when the pain is too great to sleep, drive, or sit at the computer to write, I experience the fullness of God’s grace. His grace comes in our anxiety and fear because it requires us to trust and have faith in Someone who is greater than the troubles we face.

Looking back, I can see how God has used previous trials in my life to help me deepen my relationship with Him and bring awareness to issues I needed to address, such as defensiveness. Seeing how God used those experiences for my good helps me trust He will do it again in the future.

Our trials teach us hard lessons we wouldn’t learn any other way, which is why author and preacher, Charles Spurgeon, says, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” Paul goes as far as to say we should rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope (Romans 5:3-4). We don’t have to love pain and suffering, but we can choose to see it as an opportunity to bear witness to Jesus. We don’t have to love going through trials, but we can acknowledge their role in helping us become resilient in the face of adversity.  We can learn to accept the waves as they come because we know they make us stronger and God is sovereign over them.

Let me make one point clear: Trusting God will use our pain for good doesn’t mean we should stop praying for complete healing. Unless God has made it clear that this is not His plan, we can present our requests for healing to God while prioritizing His will above our own. Like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, we can express our belief that God is capable while surrendering to His plan and holding tight to His promise to supply our needs (Phil 4:19).

Mark 14:35-36 describes how Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, moments before he was arrested, tortured, and crucified: “Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

In Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope devotional titled How to Surrender to God’s Will When You’re in Pain, he gives a suggestion for what this might look like for us. First, we can express our faith by saying something like, “God, I know you’ve got the power to change this.” Next, we ask God for help. For example, “God, I’m asking for your help. I’m in a lot of pain right now, and I need some relief. I’m asking for you to do a miracle. I know you have the power to change the situation, and I’m asking you to do it.” Last, we surrender, modeling the prayer Jesus prayed. “Lord, even though I’m asking you to take away the pain, I surrender to you. More than anything else, even more than relief, I want your will, not mine.”

Just as a seed planted deep within the soil prepares for new growth in spring, what can feel like our lowest and darkest seasons are catalysts for transformational change. We learn things we would not have discovered any other way and find healing in God’s presence like nothing this world could provide. These are the “gifts of pain”: a supernatural Source of hope, grace in the midst of suffering, and peace in knowing God is with us. Keep seeking God’s treasures in the darkness and you will find unprecedented growth, overflowing gratitude, greater purpose, and an abundance of joy.

Putting It Into Practice: Consider how God has used past hardships to draw you closer to Him, strengthen your faith, and sharpen your character. Jot down a few ways your current trials are moving you toward emotional and/or spiritual maturity. Ask God to help you “grow through what you go through” and trust that He will provide the strength not only to persevere through your trials, but become better because of them.