“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
My family loves a good dance party. We project music videos on our family room TV while my husband strums his guitar and the kids run laps around the ottoman. Recently, my son has become quite fond of the song Roots by Imagine Dragons - so much so that I’ll catch him singing it in the midst of our daily activities.
The overall message of the song is when you hit rock bottom you always have your roots to go back to. It’s often those rock bottom moments that are necessary for a personal life change or revelation.
Take a moment and listen to the song, paying particular attention to these lyrics:
I’m going back to my roots
Another day, another door
Another high, another low
Rock bottom, rock bottom, rock bottom
I’m going back to my roots
Had to lose my way
To know which road to take
Trouble found me
All I look forward
Washed away by a wave
In my life, I can identify three rock bottom moments. In 2001, an eight year relationship with the man I thought I’d marry ended abruptly due to dishonesty and deceit. In 2010, I was unemployed, struggling in my marriage, and feeling lost and lonely as a stay-at-home mom. Two years ago, a series of events with my spouse came to a climax. “We need a divorce. There’s nothing left for us,” was followed by a period of uncertainty where I questioned whether we could save what was left of our marriage.
In each of these moments, trouble didn’t just “find me,” it defined me, shattering my self-worth, threatening my identity, and shifting my anxiety into overdrive. To understand why, God challenged me to “go back to my roots” – to reflect on my past and ask myself some challenging questions.
Who or what defines who I am, why I’m here, and what I’m worth?
In the midst of challenging circumstances, where do I choose to focus?
What drives me? How do I define success?
Through my responses, God showed me that while there's nothing inherently wrong with receiving accolades from others, being in a committed relationship, or having a successful career, there’s something wrong when those accolades, that relationship, or that career is stripped away and you feel like a failure. Those things do not define who we are – He does.
God revealed that I had anchored my identity in external things that were constantly fluctuating and not grounded in His truth. I had allowed productivity, personal accomplishments, and the opinions of others to determine who I was and what I was worth, giving them an illegitimate place of authority in my life that should have been reserved for Him. With shallow roots that weren’t firmly planted in Christ, my life was a series of “highs and lows” with little emotional or spiritual stability. Periods of trial and uncertainty caused me to worry and wither.
“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT
Anchoring Our Identity in Christ
God met me in each of my “identity crises,” rescuing me from my loneliness and delivering me from unhealthy relationships while inviting me into a closer relationship with Him. As I spent more time with the Lord, He revealed the following truths:
1. The root of my anxiety wasn’t my circumstances - it was where I chose to focus in the midst of them. To move forward I had to look forward, take my thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), and keep my eyes fixed on Him. I had to focus on what I could change (i.e. myself) while trusting that the same God that was working in me was working in those around me.
2. The root of my perfectionism wasn’t simply a drive for excellence - it was a drive to measure up, be enough (a desire for acceptance), and earn my value when my value was inherent and given by God. My past insecurities now serve as an invitation to find refuge in who God says I am, why I matter, and what I’m worth.
I am redeemed, chosen, valued, forgiven, loved, and fully accepted by Christ not because of anything I have done but because of who He is and what He did for me. The same is true for you.
3. The root of my defensiveness and taking things personally was my own spiritual immaturity. Instead of allowing the opinions of others to take root, I needed to ask God for strength to pull those weeds and create space for His roots to “reach deep into the water” (Jeremiah 17:7-8 NLT).
When we anchor our identity in Christ, we become emotionally stable and spiritually mature. We are able to withstand the storms of life without being “washed away” and walk confidently in what God is calling us to do.
In knowing Whose we are, we are less vulnerable to what others say. In keeping our eyes fixed on Him, our anxiety fades. And in knowing that Christ is enough, we can give up the chase of pleasing and perfecting to focus on pursuing Him and His purpose for us.
Who or what defines who you are, why you’re here, and what you’re worth?
In the midst of challenging circumstances, where do you choose to focus? How does this affect you?
What drives you? Is it approval and acceptance? Or is it living in alignment with Him?
Leave a Legacy
As parents, it is our responsibility to plant seeds of faith in our children and expose them to spiritual nourishment (e.g. His Word) so God can help them grow. We must help our kids understand why they believe what they do (which means we need to be in the Word too) and show them their value is rooted in Christ.
At some point, our children will be told they don’t measure up or they’re not good enough. When they receive criticism, will they internalize those statements, allowing them to take root and crowd out God’s truth? Or will they bring them to Christ and weigh them against His Word?
Will they get caught up in the hustle of trying to earn their value or will they recognize that it is given by God?
Will they seek the Lord for security and acceptance, or will they fulfill those desires with worldly things?
We can help our children understand who God says they are, why they’re here, and what they’re worth by sharing His Word with them. Download and print these Scripture Cards for Kids and check out the other resources below. Breathe God’s truth into their lives daily and remind them that they are loved, valued, and fully accepted by Christ.
Call To Action: It’s time to uproot the lies and labels and let God define us with His truth. Download 10 Positive Affirmations to Anchor Your Identity in Christ and answer the question below in the comments or in our private Facebook group.
What defeating thought do you struggle with most? What would letting go of the lie and embracing God's truth look like for you?
Additional Resources:
Two of my favorite songs to anchor our identity in Christ are You Say by Lauren Diagle and Who You Say I Am by Hillsong. For my complete list, download 25 Songs to Anchor Your Identity in Christ. (The last three songs are also great for young girls.)
Are you prepared to discuss your spiritual beliefs with your child? Keeping Your Kids on God’s Side by Natasha Crain is a great resource for parents. Check out some of my other favorite resources in my post, Parenting with Purpose: Encouraging Spiritual Growth, and see my list below for books to read with your kids to remind them that they are special ~ just as they are ~ and that they are loved, valued, and fully accepted by Christ.
You are Special by Max Lucado
The Oak Inside the Acorn by Max Lucado
You are Mine by Max Lucado
Elmer by David McKee
Thelma the Unicorn by Aaron Blabey
Speaking & Events: Jen would love to come speak, host a workshop, or lead a workout at your next event! For more information on her speaking topics and workout sessions, visit her Speaking & Events Page. To schedule Jen for your next event, complete the contact form and include the name of your group, topic of interest, and possible dates in your message. Thank you!
“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” Colossians 2:6-7
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