“If it was God’s plan, you wouldn’t need to lie,” my husband said.
It was the night before my biopsy to test for small fiber neuropathy. Due to COVID, I had waited seven months to be seen because they were only doing “essential surgeries.” The skin punch biopsy, which is used to determine changes in nerve fiber function or density, was considered “non-essential,” meaning they believed it could be delayed without undue risk to my health.
In those seven months the pain progressed from my legs and feet to include my fingers and hands. Driving became nearly unbearable. And, my feet started to turn purple. How is this not considered undue risk?
This was after three months of trying to find a new doctor. I had gotten so tired of being bounced around, treated like a number, and then being referred to someone else when their treatments failed that I’d requested to see a university specialist.
Three months of phone calls, voicemails, medical records requests, and waiting for callbacks. COVID didn’t help—it was next to impossible to speak to a real person in the beginning. When the Department of Neurology at the first university finally got back to me, I was told “there was nothing further they could do” and that I should “follow-up with my current physician.” Are you kidding me?!
That’s when I contacted the University of Maryland Neurology Care Center. Within two weeks, I had a new doctor who genuinely seemed to care. He answered my questions and spent over an hour on our first telehealth call. But that didn’t change the fact that he wasn’t seeing patients in person, or that the biopsy was a non-essential procedure. I would just have to wait.
Two days before my appointment, my husband started feeling sick. Then he developed a fever and chills. His work ordered him to stay home and take a COVID test, which he was able to schedule for December 10th—the same day as my biopsy. Because his appointment was a few hours hours after mine, he wouldn’t even have the quick results back in time. Seriously? What are the chances?
The night before my biopsy, I went online to fill out the paperwork and, under the section on Communicable Disease Screening, it read: In the last month, have you been in contact with someone who was confirmed or suspected to have Coronavirus?
I was faced with the decision of lying to keep the appointment and potentially receive a diagnosis for my unexplained pain OR tell the truth. What would you do?
I remembered my husband’s words. “If it was God’s plan, you wouldn’t need to lie.”
I clicked “Yes,” submitted the form, and received a confirmation! I thought I was in the clear, but the next morning I received the bad news: I needed to cancel. Worse yet, their next opening was more than two months out. More waiting.
I had the biopsy on February 11th, but do not yet have results. More waiting. I was told this week my appointment in March that I thought would be in-person will again be virtual. More waiting. As time passes and my health declines it can feel like hope of a diagnosis and effective treatment is slipping through my fingers. How can I possibly wait longer?
Holding on to hope in the waiting period and trusting God’s timing is hard, especially when the thing we’re waiting for is time-sensitive. But, just as we can believe God is good even when life is not by remembering His faithfulness in the past, we can reflect on prior experiences, stories from the Bible, and testimonies of others to trust His timing is perfect.
Take the story of Hannah and Samuel (Samuel 1:2-2:21). For years Hannah tried to conceive, but remained childless. In her time, “barren” women were considered a failure by society and embarrassments to their husbands. Hannah didn’t give up—she kept praying for a son, crying out to God, and expressing her pain and frustration. Her wait felt like it would never end.
Until one day, when Hannah was well past-child bearing age, she conceived. She didn’t allow God’s silence to crush her hope or abandon her dreams—she persevered through worship and prayer while cultivating patient endurance.
Do not mistake God’s patience for His absence. His timing is perfect, and His presence is constant. He’s always with you. – Deuteronomy 31:6
What felt “late” to Hannah was actually perfect because Samuel was born at exactly the right time to lead an idolatrous nation back to God.
Joseph was released from prison at exactly the right time to save his people, including his own family, from famine (Genesis 41-46).
Pharaoh’s daughter went to the river to bathe at exactly the right time to find baby Moses in the basket (Exodus 2:5).
And Jesus came to Earth at exactly the right time to fulfill the prophesies, save us from sin, and restore hope to a broken world!
Then there’s my friend Amy, who waited months for a critical surgery that filled her with worry and fear. After the first surgeon failed to remove all the invasive tissue, Amy found a new doctor who not only removed it, but performed the procedure with such precision that the results exceeded her expectations! Looking back, she now sees how God was protecting her. The first surgeon didn’t have the expertise needed to perform the risky surgery and the outcome would have been life-altering! While the ten-month wait was hard, God worked it all out for her good by leading her to a specialist and completely restoring her health!
(I wrote an article titled, When God Doesn’t Fix It – How to Accept a “No” or a “Not Yet,” which you can access here.)
Waiting Well
Waiting well requires us to spend time with Jesus because patience is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). The more we embrace God’s presence, the more our patience grows and He can work in the wait. When we keep God at a distance, doubting His timing and questioning His plan, we become filled with anxiety and fear. I have experienced both anxiety and peace, so I can attest to the fact that the former increases our pain. Piling added stress and restlessness atop the struggles we are already facing weighs us down, but God wants to lighten our load through trust! What feels like too much for us to carry is not too much for Him!
Invite doubt to draw you closer. Keep pouring your heart out to God and trust that He will answer, even if it’s a “no” or a “not yet.” Choose not to waver though unbelief regarding the promises of God, but be strengthened in your faith and give glory to God, being fully persuaded that God has the power to do what he has promised (Romans 4:20-21).
When we try to push God’s timing, like Sarah, and take matters into our own hands, we wreak havoc on His plan. Sarah waited 90 years for a baby, but God came through! Will you trust that He will do that for you?
St. Teresa of Avila once said, “We always find that those who walked closest to Christ were those who had to bear the greatest trials.” We will do everything in our power to escape discomfort, but it is through sharing in Christ’s sufferings that we develop an intimacy with Him that pales in comparison to our greatest mountaintop experience.
Don’t miss God’s presence in the difficult moments while waiting for a mountaintop experience! God is here, but His voice is often a soft whisper. Can you hear Him? Rather than try to speed up His timing, invite it to draw you into attentive living. Quiet the noise. Eliminate distractions. Be open to seeing God’s blessings all around you and have faith that He is working behind the scenes.
Waiting requires us to let go of our health, physical healing, finances, or other worldly attributes as our basis of security and rely on the hope of God as the anchor for our soul (Hebrews 6:19).
Don’t miss this powerful truth! We can hope for answers, healing, a diagnosis, better treatment, a spouse, positive pregnancy test, clear CT scan, new job, or a nicer home, but we can’t base our happiness on any of these things. Anytime we tether our peace to circumstances outside our control, we will end up disappointed. When we allow our happiness to be dependent on things that are constantly fluctuating and unstable, such as our health, career, or relationships, we become emotionally unstable ourselves. Our lives become characterized by series of highs and lows where uncertainty propels us into anxiety. We can’t live that way!
To rely on the hope of God as the anchor for our soul is to trust in His promises. It’s to believe that He is good, He loves you, and He is sovereign over all. To rely on the hope of God is to unclench our fists and stop trying to control our situation. Sometimes we have to let go of the life we planned before we can see the masterpiece God is creating.
The hard truth is, like Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David, we may not see the full fruit of our faith here on Earth. God’s promises may not be fulfilled in our lifetime. Noah wasn’t alive long enough to see God follow through on His promise to never again destroy the Earth with a flood. Abraham didn’t get to see his descendants become more numerous than the stars (Genesis 22:17). Moses never entered the Promised Land, and David didn’t witness the fulfillment of an eternal Kingdom through Christ. Yet, they all believed. And so must we.
When we can’t see past the struggle, we can choose to believe because we know this isn’t the end of the story. Victory has already been won, our salvation is not at stake, and we will one day be in heaven with Jesus. Stand firm on these truths that no one can take from us.
It’s the only way to truly live. It’s the only way to hold on to hope in a hurting and broken world. It’s the only way to wait well.
Like Abraham, we can trust the Lord will provide—whether that’s answers, healing, words of encouragement, or a supportive community to walk with us in the wait. Keep in mind that healing may look different than we imagined. While physical healing may not occur this side of heaven, God heals our heart, union with Him, and relationships with others.
Like Hannah, let us never cease praying. We can ask the Lord to help us live with a constant awareness of His presence and continue to praise Him in the storm.
Like David, our season of struggle may draw out sin and idolatry. God is using it to grow and shape us into the likeness of Christ. Let us invite the wait to free us from strongholds of fear, control, misplaced priorities, and anxiety as we learn to trust and have faith in a God who is greater than the struggles we face.
As I continue to seek an accurate diagnosis for my pain, I am acutely aware that more important than my physical healing is spiritual wholeness and peace for my soul. I may never find the “cure” for my bodily ailments, but the cure for my brokenness is already known—Jesus Christ.
We can acknowledge our hardships in the present, while fixing our eyes on the hope of Christ. As my kids say, “peek at our problems, but gaze at God.” For me, this looks like holding tight to His promises in Jeremiah 30:17 and 1 Peter 2:24:
“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal” (Jeremiah 30:17).
“By his wounds, you have been healed” (1 Peter 2:24).
Both of these scriptures refer to spiritual healing—a sense of peace, patience, and an unwavering faith in whatever hardships we’re facing. Only Jesus sets us free from the stronghold of sin, the sting of death, and separation from God. Hold on to hope in the wait by pursuing spiritual wholeness. Look to the Bible, testimonies of others, and past experiences to trust that God is sovereign. He loves you, and He is with you.
Call to Action: What parts of your life feel like they are on hold right now? How can you wait well and trust God’s timing is perfect? Leave your answers in the comments or send me an email!
Whatever you’re waiting for today, know that you are not alone! God is in the waiting and He wastes nothing! Here are some songs/albums that have been comforting me in this long season of waiting. I hope they bring peace and comfort to you as well!
- Audrey Assad Spotify Playlist (Good to Me is one of my favorites!)
- Take Courage (LIVE) by Bethel Music & Kristene DiMarco (YouTube video)
- Truth I’m Standing On by Leanna Crawford (Official Lyric Video)
- Yes I Will by Vertical Worship (Official Lyric Video)
- Way Maker by Leeland (Official Live Video)
- You Keep Hope Alive featuring John Reddick (YouTube Video)
- Click here to join my Freebie’s Library for my favorite Spotify playlists and other resources!
4 thoughts on “Hope in the Wait – How to Trust God’s Timing”
Jen
Thanks for the blog, Hope in the Waiting. A book that has helped me understand why God allows pain in our lives is If God Is Good by Randy Alcorn.
Blessing to you,
Gil
Thanks for this suggestion, Gil, and for sharing your story! I will check out Randy Alcorn’s book!