Self-care is a buzzword in all circles lately, including those for Christian women and moms. It can feel superficial, overwhelming, and self-centered, all at once. It can also feel refreshing, restful, and abundant. Much of this depends on the way you approach caring for yourself, what season you are in, and how you view it.
For mothers who have just recently had a baby, self-care in the postpartum period is a topic of concern. (The postpartum period extends through the first year of baby’s life and beyond – some sources even argue that the first three years should be included in this season, so toddler moms count, too!)
Many of us tend to focus on the new baby, but what about mom? We often forget about ourselves and throw everything we have into caring for new life, but we must not sacrifice our own well-being in the process. Self-care as a postpartum mom is not superficial; it is a necessity.
Postpartum is a very unique and personal period that should be honored and approached with care. This is often called the “fourth trimester” – a fragile time when a woman’s body recovers from the marathon that is childbirth, no matter the type of birth she had. Newborns don’t come with instructions, and neither does postpartum care. You can heed all the advice in the world, yet nobody will ever walk through what you are personally walking through – with your own experiences, personality, and individual child. This is a time in a woman’s life that is brand new and unique each time she walks through it with each baby.
Typical ways women prepare for postpartum include having the nursery and baby’s needs met beforehand, as well as lining up meals. Yet new mothers often forget about themselves once baby arrives and are busy caring for their family and new little member.
Be assured that everything you are experiencing – whether it’s changes in your body, healing with stitches, hormonal imbalance – or things baby is going through, such as quick variation of diapers, cluster feeding, spitting up – is all normal for postpartum. As with anything, if you are flustered and feel unsure of what’s going on, do not hesitate to seek professional help for you or your baby.
Self care for a postpartum mom includes the emotional, physical, and spiritual support needed for her recovery. Postpartum moms can benefit from breastfeeding support, housekeeping and errand runners, meal services, care for siblings, and personal recommendations to community resources such as parenting classes, support groups, and pediatricians. There are so many ways to come alongside Christian women in their postpartum period and there are many places to reach out for help.
Here are a few guidelines for new moms to prepare for this special time and care for their mind, body, and soul.
Care For Your Soul:
Soul care gives us fresh faith and cultivates a life renewed in Christ. We can practice good soul care by being intentional in our everyday choices. For example:
- Invite God into your everyday activities, even the mundane. God sees you and He cares. He designed childbirth and postpartum – nothing you experience is a surprise to Him!
- Slow down and give yourself permission to rest and recover – especially the first six weeks.
- Adjusting to life with a newborn is a whirlwind in and of itself, so give yourself grace if you miss your daily quiet time, exercise, or bible study.
- Listen to worship music and pray as often as you can – this constant presence is so important. Consider making a playlist of soothing music for you and for baby.
- Find a church service to live stream at home for Sundays when you can’t make it out of the house.
- Jot down notes in a journal, especially in the first few weeks of adjustment. You may also wish to share these with your health care provider at your postpartum checkups.
- Memorize the fruit of the spirit and let Christ’s words teach you how to mother your new baby as you become more fully yourself in this new season as a mom.
Care For Your Mind:
- Attend therapy if needed. There are therapists who specialize in pregnancy and postpartum support, as well as women’s hospitals that offer pregnancy and postpartum depression support groups.
- Journal your birth story and experiences postpartum. This helps you to process your emotions and frees your mind of anything that’s holding on too tightly. Then, let go of any harsh details and give them to God in order to free yourself to soak in this precious time more fully.
- As with any big life change, prayer and renewing your mind by reading God’s Word is of utmost importance. Find a devotional and read what you can, as you can, to stay grounded and refreshed.
- Try to find people ahead of time who can care for your older children or household responsibilities for a few hours each week so that you can focus on baby or on taking a mental break.
Care For Your Body:
- Meal prep nourishing foods and smoothies, pre-portion snacks, make and freeze meals ahead of time, and always have a bottle of water handy – you will be thirsty (especially nursing mamas, hydrate!).
- Have herbal teas, take an herbal postpartum bath/soak, and get herbal salves, especially if you are breastfeeding. Don’t forget about a postpartum belly bind for support a few hours a day, as it helps everything go back to its normal place.
- Set a specific time to shower or go for a walk, by yourself, each day (outside help is needed).
- Get the specialized help you need, including physical therapy (pelvic floor specialty), IBCLC Lactation Counselor, chiropractic care, etc.
- Find an ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) with a local chapter and meeting to gain in-person pregnancy and postpartum support.
Care For Your Relationships:
- Don’t be afraid to go to counseling to adjust to the transition in your relationships.
- Find local parenting support groups, or moms and tots groups, to learn and walk with others in community.
- Tell your friends and family what you (and your family) need for support – they cannot read your mind.
- Pinpoint your few closest family members or friends who you know will drop anything they are doing to come to support you in whichever way you need – and hold them close.
- Seasons change, and your season with a newborn is not the same as a friend who doesn’t have kids, or who has older kids in school – and that’s okay. Keep communication open as you learn how to navigate this new season of friendship together.
In all of this, John 14:4-5 sums up how to best care for yourself in the postpartum period; “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
We are to remain, be present, be held, and kept continually by Jesus Christ in order to produce a life that glorifies Him. This can especially be done in the postpartum period, as this is a precious time in a woman’s life that forces her to slow down to listen to her baby and her body as both recover from the rigors of childbirth. By resting in Him and being fully present in our days, we align our desires and actions with His. Spiritual fruit flourishes. Even if they seem like whispers – whisper prayers – Jesus hears you and meets you there.
Truly, community care is needed even more than self-care, especially in such a fragile, precious time as postpartum. This covers anywhere from the first few weeks to the first few months, all the way through the first year with a new baby.
It takes a village, and as Christian women, we need to step up, come alongside, and become the community we’ve always wanted, helping postpartum moms with needs and being that support, in whichever way fits her needs best.
To download Katherine Self-Care in the Postpartum Period checklist, click here or on the image below.
To join the rest of our Cultivate series and build positive habits for your mind, body, and soul, click here. Upcoming topics include Creating Space for What Makes You Come Alive, Time & Stress Management, Money Mindset & Stewarding of Finances, and Overcoming Anxiety.
About the Author: Katherine Newsom is a mama and doula who lives in the gulf coast of Texas. You can find her at www.simplenaturalmama.com – where she writes for the Christian mom who likes things simple and natural.
